Besides the dance scenes, MAGIC MIKE XXL is a pretty bleh movie. There is hardly a storyline and the only characters I care about are Ken (Matt Bomer), Ricky (Joe Manganiello), and Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith). However, I guess when you think about it, is a storyline really something you care about in these movies? Probably not. But because the dance scenes were pretty spaced out, with boring, boring, boring story in between, it made the movie really drag. Not to mention Mike’s new love interest Zoe (Amber Heard) is the kind of stereotypically “cool” pixie dream girl that I despise seeing in movies. Her character was completely unnecessary to the action of the film and nothing would change if she were deleted completely. As much as I like Heard, she was wasted. More Rome, less Zoe please.
Bottom line: Wait for the movie to come out on DVD so you can fast forward all of the boring “story” parts (if you can even call them that) and watch what you really want to see, a bunch of hot guys stripping.
During the time between dance numbers, I had so many questions running through my brain. Here are a few:
1) Why wasn’t MAGIC MIKE XXL two hours of Matt Bomer serenading me… shirtless?
2) Who picks up all of those dollar bills when the strippers are done doing their thing? If I were a stripper I’d be like…
3) Why does Channing Tatum insist on wearing that sideways baseball hat?
4) Speaking of hats, does anyone REALLY wear this kind of beanie in real life besides Channing Tatum?
5) Why is the most insignificant person in a male dance group always named Tito?
6) How do I get Jada Pinkett Smith to emcee my life?
7) Did Twitch have any lines in the movie or did I miss it?
8) Did Joe Manganiello have an extensive knowledge of Backstreet Boys before this movie? Did he need someone to consult him on Kevin Richardson’s shocking exit from the band? How do I get that job?
9) Is there really a stripper convention in Myrtle Beach because DC is only a short Spirit Airlines flight away…
10) How do I become an extra in these movies?!
