magic mike xxl group shot channing tatum matt bomer joe manganello
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Movie Review: Magic Mike XXL

Besides the dance scenes, MAGIC MIKE XXL is a pretty bleh movie. There is hardly a storyline and the only characters I care about are Ken (Matt Bomer), Ricky (Joe Manganiello), and Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith). However, I guess when you think about it, is a storyline really something you care about in these movies? Probably not. But because the dance scenes were pretty spaced out, with boring, boring, boring story in between, it made the movie really drag. Not to mention Mike’s new love interest Zoe (Amber Heard) is the kind of stereotypically “cool” pixie dream girl that I despise seeing in movies. Her character was completely unnecessary to the action of the film and nothing would change if she were deleted completely. As much as I like Heard, she was wasted. More Rome, less Zoe please.

Bottom line: Wait for the movie to come out on DVD so you can fast forward all of the boring “story” parts (if you can even call them that) and watch what you really want to see, a bunch of hot guys stripping.

During the time between dance numbers, I had so many questions running through my brain. Here are a few:

1) Why wasn’t MAGIC MIKE XXL two hours of Matt Bomer serenading me… shirtless?

matt bomer licking his lips GIF

2) Who picks up all of those dollar bills when the strippers are done doing their thing? If I were a stripper I’d be like…

Rihanna saying bitch better have my money

3) Why does Channing Tatum insist on wearing that sideways baseball hat?

Channing Tatum in sideways baseball cap
Photo credit:

4) Speaking of hats, does anyone REALLY wear this kind of beanie in real life besides Channing Tatum?

channing tatum in a beanie
Photo Credit:

5) Why is the most insignificant person in a male dance group always named Tito?

Jackson 5 dancing GIF

6) How do I get Jada Pinkett Smith to emcee my life?

Jada Pinkett Smith emceeing in Magic Mike

7) Did Twitch have any lines in the movie or did I miss it?

Twitch and Channing Tatum high-fiving in Magic Mike

8) Did Joe Manganiello have an extensive knowledge of Backstreet Boys before this movie? Did he need someone to consult him on Kevin Richardson’s shocking exit from the band? How do I get that job?

Backstreet Boys dancing GIF

9) Is there really a stripper convention in Myrtle Beach because DC is only a short Spirit Airlines flight away…

Matt Bomer winking in Suits GIF

10) How do I become an extra in these movies?!

Katniss screaming I volunteer as tribute in The Hunger Games GIF

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